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“On mourra seul.” Pascal

My father died alone. The nurses said
His coma was so deep, no need to stay.
My mother went for a drive with a friend.
I Went home. Later they phoned to say he died.

My brother died alone. The plane he flew,
A single-seater, dropped to the sea at Midway.
For most of a year they called him M. I. A.,
Then told us he was dead. We already knew.

My son died alone, tired of the war
Against depression, he went for a last look
At the ocean. They found his body there, a book
Of Dickinson poems beside him near the shore.

Henry, Johnny and Andrew–does it mean
Something, this emptiness, transiency, loving and pain?

Comments:

“everyone will die alone” is the English translation.

My given name “John Graham Alvord” memorializes my uncle John Robert Alvord and my father Graham Alvord. Graham was also my Dad’s mother’s maiden name.

My brother’s death is a sadness I carry within for 50+ years. I keep some of Andy’s drawings on my walls and his base guitar to this day.

[John Alvord 11/12/2025]

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